Originally published on 60&Me; updated June 2020. 

Many of us constantly live with questions hanging over us – questions concerning our life in general, especially when we transition to the retirement years. Perhaps you feel something is “off”, but you can’t put your finger on it.

Do you know what “it” even is?

If this is you, I believe these feelings are more normal than you’d think. After all, we’re told that it’s important to look at our life from time to time and make sure it’s all we want it to be.

We want to make sure life is the best it can be.

 

We Don’t Know What We’re Asking

However, a problem usually arises: we don’t really understand the questions we direct to ourselves.

We don’t understand what we want, so how can we expect to answer in a way that fits us and works for our lives?

Let me give you an example.

As I (as well as many of my friends) neared the age of 50, I found that there were common thoughts and feelings we seemed to frequently discuss when we were together.

And after much reflection, I realized that many of us were asking ourselves the very same questions and desperately wanting to find the answers to them.

But as we talked together at the time, we never really knew – clearly – WHAT we were asking ourselves.

I’m hoping that by listing these questions below, you will connect with one of them (or even all of them)! If so, take some time to answer them in detail.

I believe the effort will be well worth it for you.

It was for us!

 

The 5 Questions

• Who am I now?
• What do I want to be when I grow up?
• Is this all there is?
• I’m bored – what now?
• I don’t want to sit in a rocking chair, so what do I do instead?

We’ve Changed

Each of these questions is one you could have asked when you were 18 and just getting ready to leave high school.

Maybe you even asked these questions again when you hit 30 and realized you were no longer a 20-something, and that “life was passing you by.” It may seem crazy now, but most of us felt it!

And again, at this later stage in life – you might find yourself asking these questions once more.

With each new phase we enter, I believe we are different people. What we thought and needed at 18 no longer applies.

Who we were at 30 is probably not who we are at 50, 60, or 70.

We change. Our likes and dislikes have evolved. The views we hold are shaped more clearly by our years of experiences. Our personalities have softened or hardened.

We change. Our likes and dislikes have evolved. The views we hold are shaped more clearly by our years of experiences. Our personalities have softened or hardened.

Everything about us is different now. And especially if we had children, the Empty Nest Years are changing us drastically.

So why, then, do we not anticipate the need to ask ourselves some deep questions at this time of life? Why don’t we dig deeper to see who we really are…now?

We need to reflect on these questions if we want a life that is truly fulfilling at our age – and not just a life that was created back when we were 25.

Because as we all know, that creation may not fit now. Nothing says that we need to stay in a suit that no longer fits.

In fact, I hate to wear clothes that no longer fit. I can’t sit or stand without pulling and tugging at the clothing and feeling miserable the entire time I’m wearing it.

Living a life that no longer fits can feel the very same way.

Maybe you’re ready for a BIG change, too.

Now What?

Maybe you’re realizing that you’re asking yourself some of these questions right now. But because you didn’t know exactly what you were missing or wondering, you couldn’t answer them.

Now you know.

Ask yourself these hard questions. Take your time and ponder them. Talk to friends and family about them. But more importantly, whatever else you may do…

Answer them!

I promise you that your future self will thank you for it!

 

What questions are you asking yourself? Do you need to take time for yourself to think, dream, and plan? Be willing to be brave enough to stop, ask yourself, and dig deeper.